Tuesday, September 28, 2004


Hello again!

So, I'm back from our Big Big Trip to Midland, Ontario.

Many important things happened there, thereby scuttling plans for my scathing expose on the Amish. Do not be fear, however - I shall return to their insidious practices in the near future. Point to ponder: The Amish have a vast sour cream fortune derived from the sale of YODER'S Sour Cream. Yes, Yoder's. Now answer me this, oh Cheshire Cat: Do they have some magic hermetic sealing fairy that comes by and both pasteurizes and seals their product? No, I didn't think so. They have ELECTRICITY. Hypocrites, all of them. And where does this money go? I'll tell you: Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, Norelco Razors, and I have it on good authority that they are the majority owners of Slim Jim beef jerky. Leave it to the Amish.

Now, to other pressing issues. We had a very fun evening on Saturday, especially after we saw the schismatic Saint Pius X seminarians. They were cassocks (dresses) and they look mean. I mean, I love sarcasm and these guys scared the hell out of me. They walked by some freshly planted flowers and they withered. Damn cold, these gents. And they wear DRESSES. Insane.

Also insane: the bishop from up there came to dinner without dressing like a bishop and then, after several of us began playing music (Boynton on the fiddle, Dawe on the guitar, DeLeon and Koehler on spoons, Marquard on the jug, and Duns on the box) he came over and began crooning like he was William Hong or Rueben Studdard. Actually, he was quite good EXCEPT for the fact that he wanted to sing Danny Boy. Really, what a dumb request. I don't even KNOW that damn tune. It's anathema as far as I'm concerned. He wanted to sing something else at some point, and I guess I refused to play it. Not only did I not know he was the bishop (as I said, he wasn't dressed as such and I figured he was some schlep who came to the hall to get a free dinner like the rest of us) I really didn't care because I was drunk.

Fun Trivia Game: What is red and orange and chunky and reminds Ryan that he is a major ass?

Answer: throwing up two bottles of red wine mixed with shrimp, carrots, and some beef dish we had for dinner.

Great weekend, Boyz (kudos to DeLeon for that one).


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