Thursday, May 07, 2009

Time Flies!

Just about a year ago, I posted on some of the amazing things people sent me via YouTube. Well, over the course of the past eleven months, I've accumulated a few more doozies. Here are five more priceless gems. Believe me, I couldn't make these things up:

  1. Dear Father Ryan: I was wondering if your music is effective for exorcisms because you are a priest. Please let me know because I think the devil is inside me and I want him out.
  2. Hey, have you ever thought of becoming a Catholic? You'd make a nice priest if you weren't Jesuit. I couldn't tell if this was (1) because he doesn't know that Jesuits are Catholic or (2) because he denies that Jesuits are Catholic.
  3. U R the pyed piper of Satan who will lead many str8 2 hell with ur music. Repent and come 2 know Jesus Christ ur personal Lord and Savior.
  4. Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master so he can remove an evil force from you that is present in all humanity because a talking snake convinced a rib-woman to eat the fruit from a magical tree. I thought this was pretty funny.
  5. [Edited] Hi Father {please note: I'm not ordained} I have a strange question to ask you. My girlfriend and I really like listening to your music when we go to bed. I was wondering if you could record some really long songs and put them on YouTube. We like having you in our bedroom but most of your recordings are too short for us. Hope this doesn't weird you out. Thanks for helping us out.
In general, I'm flattered by many of the responses I get. Sometimes I'm troubled. Other times simply bemused. I try to acknowledge as many of them as I can, although there is a prioritization that goes on (if someone is asking a spiritual question, I take that more seriously than giving advice on cleaning the whistle). It's a privilege to be invited into people's homes (or, as we saw in #5, bedrooms) and I'm glad there are so many people the world over interested in learning more about Irish music. While the vast majority of the responses are innocuous and rather boring, I thought I'd share a few of the stand-outs.


Jason said...

I am aghast, appalled, and offended!

Number 4 is just wrong!

Catholics DO NOT symbolically eat his flesh, we sacramentally eat his flesh.

For crying out loud, people, if you're going to be insulting, at least do it right!

Joe said...

Jason's right.

...and you may want to make sure that #5 isn't kidding lest you materially cooperate in whatever it is they are doing.

Marki said...

I thought they were all pretty funny. I especially appreciated the comment about Jesuits since from long experience I doubt the Catholicity of most Jesuits myself.

Anonymous said...

Is Marki Joe Garcia's lover? Joe's wife (Joe does have one, it seems, the long-suffering woman; let us hope he pays her half as much attention as he does this blog) should ask her if she passed the orthodoxy test before she started pissing on the cookies