Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Give us this day, our daily rant

I was doing some maintenance on my YouTube videos this evening and I discovered that as of right now, my videos have been viewed 1.2 million times. That's 1,206,877 times to be exact. That's a lot of times that my mother has clicked on my videos to drive up the view count!

Now, while it's no Charlie the Unicorn, the popularity of the Tin Whistle videos has prompted many people to send me emails. I get quite a few each day and, truth be told, I really do read each one and I try to respond to all of them. But sometimes I get behind in my correspondence, thus forcing me to answer a slew of emails in one sitting. 

Don't get me wrong: I love hearing from people. It really does seem that the whistle videos have reached a world-wide audience and I've heard from two guys who are discerning vocations to the Society of Jesus, in part, because they were introduced to the Jesuits through my lessons. So I'm glad to be of service both to my faith and to my musical heritage.

I am not, however, thrilled by the utterly obnoxious emails that I receive. Let me just offer a few choice quotes from recent emails I've received:

  1. Your religion distracts me from learning the tin whistle.
  2. I don't like your outfit. Couldn't you wear something nicer?
  3. You're bald [as if I didn't know this]
  4. Why are you trying to force your religion on me? 
  5. Could you record your videos in other languages? [this is synthesized comment...in general I get "can you please record your videos in ________ (insert language here)]
  6. This is why the Jesuits have no vocations. You are teaching the tin whistle when you should be praying.
  7. "I don't believe in God, but..." [these tend to be laudatory. I don't mind them, usually]
  8. My husband is cheating on me. Do you think I should get a divorce?
  9. Sometimes my tin whistle squeaks like "eerrrhehhhehhh" and I don't like it. How can I make it not do that?
  10. My cat doesn't like the sound of my tin whistle. Can you suggest one she might like? Yes, this is real question. I received it just before retreat and it gave me much to pray on. Woe! Woe!
Well, the list goes on and on. 

I'm pretty good: I'll admit that much. But some of these people must think I'm Kreskin or something. I've run the gambit now from divorce to sorting out one's sexuality to relationship between cats and the whistle. Just when you think it can't get any nuttier, I sign into YouTube and discover a whole new message that brings me to yet another low.

And some people think the Cross is present only on Good Friday. 

So that's it for tonight. I tried a new workout DVD tonight: Yoga Burn. I've been working out consistently for six months and let me tell you that, if I had not, I'd still be lying in the "Downward Facing Dog" pose or the "Baby Cobra" pose or some such thing. It was really rough and I realized that, while I'm flexible in many areas of life, my body is not yet one of them. I have a strong suspicion that I'll be very, very, very sore tomorrow.

Which will be just perfect when I go to YouTube and read yet another email asking me if I could: Please teach with your shirt off. Bald men are attractive and I think I'd learn better this way. This is easily my favorite. It's relatively recent -- maybe last week -- although I just read it this evening and it's the one that tipped the scale in favor of composing this post.


Robyn said...

That's awesome. Thanks for the good laugh. :)

joe said...

Have you tried forcing your religion upon the recalcitrant cat?

Just a thought.


Reed said...

Hi Ryan -
I am one of those millions of youtube viewers who is not your mom!

Your vid of Saddle the Pony/Tar Road has been super helpful to me.

Here's a vid of me jamming with you:


I admire your witness to Christ. Keep up the good work - Soli deo Gloria