A long time ago in a city far, far away....
...a child was born. He sought to seek out and do good and to avoid evil.
He gave himself over to the Jesuit ways,
apprenticing himself to a novice master.
After two years of apprenticeship, he studied again
at the feet of masters, learning the mysterious ways
of philosophy and theology.
Seen by his superiors to be fitting, he was made a "Master"
and sent to teach the ways of theology
to young students in Detroit.
He thought himself an agent of the Good:
...the scourge of heresy,
...the bane of blasphemy,
...the slayer of heretics.
Until the week before his 32nd birthday when his parents revealed the truth about his identity.
With his parents' revelation, a new identity emerged:
So, yeah, a week before my birthday (October 19th, the Feast of North American Martyrs) I notice a box in the mail room. As I've not ordered anything of late, I didn't suspect it was for me; it's only because I had to move it (it was in my way) that I happened to notice that it was from North Olmsted, Ohio and that it was addressed to me.
What delight did I express to discover inside such wonders as these. It's funny, because a few weeks ago I was playing with one of these lightsabers at Costco! What's even funnier, I suspect, is that many of my students suspect that I'm a Dark Jesuit Lord and that I actually wear things like this when I'm correcting papers. If only I could get that "strangle a student with the power of the Force thing" down...
Anyway, thanks Mom and Dad. Some guys probably get new roofs or a fancy dinner for their 32nd birthday. I get toys. I think I get the better end of the deal!