Wednesday, October 24, 2007

FLY Me to the Moon

So a quick tale about my day:

Wednesdays have become a packed day for me. I work out in the morning, shower, and then go to class from 11:00-1:00. I eat a piece of pizza at 1:15, go to the library for a little while, then I head over to Fordham Prep where I'm teaching the tin whistle as an after-school program.

So, in keeping with my policy of wearing clerical attire when teaching, I wear the whole outfit to class, too. And to the pizza shop. And to the library. Gist of the whole story: I'm looking very priestly on Wednesdays.

So at 2:20 this afternoon, I packed up my computer and, before I left the library, I made a pit stop to use the restroom.

You'll be glad to know that nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Until, that is, I tore the zipper mechanism off of my pants (I'll blame shoddy construction over my strength...although I did work out this morning). And, to make matters worse, the zipper teeth didn't connect so now I'm walking about with my fly completely open and I've not very many options because I have barely fifteen minutes to get to the Prep and meet the students.

I don't know about you, but I'm nervous when I see ANYONE with his fly undone. And in this day and age I reckon I was just one student's complaint away from an appearance on Dateline NBC.

Fortunately, I had on my person one of my "effects of a dead Jesuit", namely a black sweater vest. Figuring it was the best I could do, I tied it around my waist and positioned it in a shabby-chic sort of way that conveyed either a sense of studied unkemptness OR a hidden desire to look like Adam with a fig leaf.

Fortunately for me, I made it through teaching without a hitch and I promptly discarded the offending pants upon my arrival at home.

So that's my amusing narrative for the day.

As for amusing pictures:

My father - Big Bob Duns - finally ordered something other than cigars off of the internet. Grandpa Duns actually bought my niece her Halloween costume. What will Emma be this year? A bunny rabbit? A fairy princess? Padma from Top Chef?

Surprisingly, none of the above.

Because my niece will be going as a Whoopie Cushion.

Now isn't that a gas?


Anonymous said...

Cigars and a whoopie cushion!! Does your Dad rent himself out as a temporary Grandpa? He sounds like the kind of guy my kids could use a good dose of! All the best, David Romaine, Darien, Illinois

Karen said...

Okay, first off, thanks for the subplot!

Then...your dad has no room to give you a hard time about Charlie. Obviously weirdness runs in the family.

I have a mental image of Emma taking those photos to her first therapy appointment... And then the therapist will say, "Wait, let's go back to the part where your uncle the priest put the photos online..."

Unknown said...

I know -- it's some sort of pathology!

Thanks for the birthday card!!

Unknown said...

Karen and I will chip in to buy you a cassock. If you mangle THAT, well, you have more serious problems than can be addressed in a combox.


Magician2000 said...

I think that therapy may be on order for the little one... I hope no one sat on the wee little one... She could be flattened for life... What ever happened to cute little lady bugs and what not for the wee ones... Greetings from the land of Eire... and the origins of All Hallows Eve... Just down the road from me in Co. Meath...