Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Sad Tidings

Well, my friends, I have something most terrible to confess.

It's worse than me giving up Teen Titans (Happy Barthog Day, DREW!!)

It's worse than me leaving the Jesuits.

It's worse than my deciding to be Amish

I got a membership at the YMCA.

Yeah, so I've realized that I am probably the only person under the sun who could qualify for worker's compensation due to injuries sustained while playing the accordion. I am such a huge loser, to be sure, but damn it I'm in a lot of pain! The muscles in my back are absolutely useless so I'm either going to suffer arthritis in my old age (which isn't far off) or I can seek to remedy the situation by going to the gym. I'm choosing the latter option.

So tomorrow I'm going to the YMCA. I'd better be greeted by a sailor, a garbage man, a cop, and an Injun and there had better be singing. Lots of singing.

Let's there anything fun to talk about?

No. I'm so sad about this...I'm actually going to do something physical. This is such a terrible nightmare come true. It's like being sentenced to an Oireachtas of adult dancing (that's a code for my Irish dancing friends. If you don't know about Irish dancing, then you're missing out on something so funny that it makes people "in the know" wet themselves with laughter.)

Ooooh, one good thing. My uncle, Terry O'Malley, will be sending me a recipe he got from his Aunt Jambalaya. The recipe is named after his relation - Jambalaya - and is a delicious dish to be sure. We're going to make it for the candidate's weekend so that the "Prospective fresh meat" (AKA Candidates) have a taste of our hospitality.

I do have to admit some shock: Hagan Duns, the younger, female, and vastly inferior version of ME has yet to start her own blog. I don't get it. She's always a few miles behind me in EVERYTHING but this is ridiculous. I have it on good authority that she's been sneaking up into my old room and sitting in my comfy chair, trying to have deep and profound theological "thoughts" like I used to do. Sadly, Hagan, you'll never catch up to me. At 12, your life is over. You should give up and become a physicist or a doctor -- you'll never be a theologian, a job with a lot of skill required.



Charlie said...

"At 12, you're life is over."

I think it should read "At 12, your life is over." Of course, if you like it the way it is, feel free to delete this comment, Ryan. I'm very sorry you're joining the YMCA.

Anonymous said...

Obviously you don't know everything
I'm only 11