What The Church Can't Accomplish...

There are few things that the Church is unable to do. One of them is to warp the space-time continuum in such a way that, say, a liturgical season like Lent might start earlier than on Ash Wednesday.

"Why," you might ask, "Ryan do you begin this post so strangely? What has Lent to do with the space-time continuum?"

Well, let me tell you:

Tonight I went to Pugsley's Idol, a knock-off of American Idol (or for those who watch it religiously, American Idle). The event was held as a fund raiser for a most worthy cause (a service trip to Ecuador) and the premise behind the event was to invite contestants to sing one song a capella (no music, just voice). Each contestant was "judged" and seven were selected as finalists.

Let me begin by saying: they are lucky that I wasn't judging. The judges generally ranged from "That was good" to "That was great." Wishy washy nonsense! I had one heck of a time looking for the bottom to put some of these people on. It was ghastly! Some of the song renditions would make strong arguments for mercy killing. The rendition of "New York, New York" with the refrain "It's up to you, New York....New York" left me saying, "Yeah, you're lucky it's not up to me."

So, back to the space-time continuum. Having endured the caterwauling and crooning for two hours, I believe that these wannabes have accomplished the unthinkable: they began the season of Lent a full three hours early.

I am now properly mortified - the sack cloth and ashes I had ordered are now obsolete, so chastened is my flesh.

I write this all as hyperbole. It was a fun evening (if your idea of fun is listening to Elton John's "Your Song" performed with the singer making use of one note) and the cause is very good.

I'm just hoping they ask me to judge the finals...
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