The fact that I did not get elected has a number of ramifications for those around me:
first, Eric Abercrombie and his son, Ethan "Rahner" Abercrombie will stay with Melissa for the time being. For those of you who did not know it, were I to have been elected Supreme Pontiff, I'd have made Eric my ambassador to the great state of West Virginia.
second, the Queer Eye team will have to wait to re-decorate the Vatican. Martha, too, will have to wait to fashion a new papal tiara and gowns.
third, my slogan of "where there's death, there's hope - vote Ryan for pope" will get used the next time around.
fourth, I'm not able to issue a dispensation or offer anything official to my new surrogate mother from Germany - Brigitte - who sent me a lovely picture, a candle, and some terrifically DELICIOUS chocolates. Thanks!
As for a more serious and reflective response to the election of our new pope, stay tuned. If I get serious and reflective, I'll offer one.