Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Hagan Gets Third, eh?

Well, it appears that my sister Hagan won Third Place at the Science fair and now seems to think that she's our next scientist. Knowing as I do the quality of St. Brendan's students, Hagan, I'm sure your demonstration of the complex reaction between Salt + Water = Salt Water must have been absolutely riveting. My sources tell me that you were beat out by Food Coloring + Water = Colored Water (1st place done by the Asian kid, naturally) and the Thermonuclear Reactor run off of the Fission of Pimento Seeds as a Renewable Resource for Perpetual Fuel (2nd place, the Crowley boy).

Oh, Hagan, I've read all 11 of the Lemony Snicket Books. VFD (that's a code).

I teach my first class today at 2:15. I've been working on my lesson plan for the Kindergarten. I think I'll start with my new song:

Who's the Leader of the Club that's made for you and me?
J-E-S U-S-C H-R-I-S-T!

JESUS CHRIST!
HE LOVES US!
JESUS CHRIST!
HE LOVES US!

FOREVER LISTEN TO OUR LEADER RY!!

This is sung to the Mickey Mouse Club Song


It's totally obnoxious and kooky, but I really couldn't care less. Once we establish the fact that "We love to sing in Mr. Ryan's class" we'll then move on to weightier issues: the moral implications of condom distribution, inter-religious dialogue, post-Shoah theology, and the theology of Pez.

Today's lesson:

"Your parents love you because when their Social Security runs out, they're going to move in with you."

That's why I joined the Jesuits.

Cheers!

Ry
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